by Simon Smith
No, it’s not that. Not that
either. Seriously, do you really think that I would be sitting here writing this
nonsense if I could do that? You’re even crazier than everyone says you are. And
I mean everyone.
Having ruled
out Armageddon (it’s all going to be fine, trust me), each and every one of you
receiving a selection of the very best in Spanish cured meats (those guys really know what to do with a pig), and
me becoming Wimbledon Women’s Singles Champion for the third year in a row (genetically
unsuitable and I just don’t have the backhand), what could it possibly be?
Well it’s
better than all three of those put together with extra cheese on top. Allow me
to explain. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.
Some weeks ago, James Beauregard
and I were discussing the somewhat depressing situation in academic publishing,
specifically from the book-buying/getting readers perspective. As bizarre as it
may seem. Dr. B and I are both keen on getting people to read our work. “Why
not write something people actually want to read?” you may ask. That, friend,
is not an option.
Our rambling
ruminations were precipitated by the publication of Giorgio Baruchello’s recent
collections, published by Northwest Passage as paperbacks and at a much lower
price than is common for academic texts. Giorgio’s books are, in consequence, much
more affordable and, one might fairly suppose, much more likely to be bought and
read. That, to me, seems like a good thing. Thus, I opined that it might be
worth checking out Giorgio’s publisher. In reply, the now legendary Jim suggested
that we ought to speak to our current publisher, the truly wonderful Vernon
Press, to see whether they would consider putting out a paperback run of a book
after they had done what needed to be done with hardbacks.
My response to
this was not especially kind. In truth, I scoffed, I sneered, I mocked the very
idea. Naïve fellow, said I to myself and also to Jim. Not – as my dear, grey-bearded
old grandmother used to say – half as green as he is most certainly
cabbage-looking, but more so, and fool to boot. Vernon are going to have to
sell an awful lot of copies to make a second, paperback run even remotely worth
their while. Academic publishing is in crisis: no one is buying academic texts
anymore. And with budgets being squeezed tighter than tight, even university
libraries can’t be relied upon to buy a dozen copies these days. There is
simply no way that Vernon are going to do a second, paperback run of a book,
fine fellows though they most undoubtedly are.
Thus was Jim’s
suggestion, utterly and most devastatingly pooh-poohed. Pooh-poohed like a half-naked
bear in a dried-apricot eating contest.
Some weeks have
passed since this initial conversation and, sad to say, now I am being forced
to eat my own scorn, to scoff my scoffing, and munch upon my mean and mocking
words. Indeed, if I was American, I would be ordering a big slice of humble pie
with an extra serving of apology-flavoured ice-cream and a big sprinkling of
contrite-nuts. Actually, if I was American, I would probably have bought a gun
and gone on a killing spree while eating real pie with real ice-cream and real
nuts. However, as an Englishman born and very ill-bred, I will merely say, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
My sincerest apologies
to Jim, for rejecting his suggestion, which, as it turns out, was spot on. This
isn’t the first time his perspicacity has been on display. Fortunately, there
were no witnesses before and the police can’t touch him for it anyway. Equally,
to those truly, fundamentally, deeply, and profoundly incredible people at
Vernon Press, my apologies to them, likewise. How could I have ever doubted
them? For shame.
And why such entirely uncharacteristic
humility? I shall tell you why, dear reader: Vernon Press only emailed to say
that my book – my book, Beyond Realism: Seeking
the Divine Other – is now available in…
PAPERBACK!
In the words of Paul McCartney, I
am a Paperback Writer.
And it gets better. Not only am I
a fully qualified Beatles song title, but also the good and decent people of
Vernon press have also issued a discount coupon!
That’s right! We may be Beyond
Realism, but no one is Beyond a Bargain! See? They care about you too!
Vernon cares about all of us!
The PAPERBACK is available from Vernon’s website:
At the checkout, just enter the code
EWTRHLTCRT
For a solid 30% off!
Beyond Realism: Seeking the Divine Other
Now in PAPERBACK!
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