Friday 10 August 2018

Speaking of Liberal Values....

by Simon Smith

By and large, I try to avoid using this space to vent spleen on current events. There are good reasons for this. For one, it perpetuates the media-myth that those events over which we are all encouraged to lose our fruit are of fundamental importance or interest instead of being a sideshow designed largely to distract. For another, there are more than enough idiots spouting off about such matters and I have little desire to join them. Perhaps more importantly, once one starts down this road, where does it end? There’s so much to choose from in this tired old world, after all. Should we discuss the latest doings of the Commander of Cheese himself, his numerous efforts to denigrate and utterly undermine our humanity? But what an embarras de richesses we face if we do. Shall we talk about the caging of Mexican children – surely an attempt at battery-farming – or perhaps return to the heady days of his campaign when he voiced his support for sexual assault? It’s quite the de-humanizing menu.
For these reasons, among others, I prefer to avoid the detritus which floats atop the eternal sea, poisoning all the little fishies therein, and stick to philosophy, which is at least sufficiently abstract to enable one to avoid thinking about the end of the world. But then, once in a while, someone says a thing utterly stupid that it gets right up my Personalist pipe. And since those about me no longer wish to listen to me thumping on, I felt now would be a good time to share. 
As I write this, the news is filled with chatter about the latest demonstration of just what our species is capable of when it puts half a mind – if that’s not too much of an overstatement – to it. I speak, of course, of comments on the subject of Islamic dress made by a leading political figure in the UK. I shall not name him, since he does not deserve the oxygen of publicity, which was, quite obviously, his prime motivation in making these comments. Indeed, if I may borrow from the late and truly great Linda Smith, we may even wish to consider depriving him of the oxygen of oxygen. It would not, I think, be unjust.
I do not, as it happens, count myself among the fans of the burka or any other kind of full-body shroud designed to completely conceal a person thereby, not only silencing them, but effectively erasing them from society altogether, making them unseeable and therefore unseen. Apart, that is, from a general feeling that people ought to be able to wear more or less whatever they like. I discount both cargo pants and sandals from that, obviously. My principle reason for not being a fan is that, as far as I can see, this sartorial disappearing trick is a disturbing manifestation of misogyny masquerading as religious and cultural practice. But here’s the thing: I’ve managed to discuss this issue and my perspective on it perfectly calmly with people who disagree. Indeed, those conversations were frequently both interesting and informative. Some of those people are themselves Muslim: my students, for example, when I taught in Oman. They would cheerfully discuss Islamic dress-codes, often comparing them with Western fashions to devastating effect. When someone cites the example of a T-shirt marketed at young women, which has the words “Porn star in training” emblazoned across the front, it’s difficult not to feel the moral high ground slipping just a bit. And yet, curiously enough, the conversation never actually descended into infantile name-calling or mockery. Odd that. It’s almost as though people who disagree with us and do things differently to us are capable of having a sensible conversation without everyone being abusive or acting like sleep-deprived four-year old.
So, here’s my first problem with this whole sad affair: if you want to insult people because of the way they dress, if you want, in other words, to demonstrate your ignorance and appalling lack of manners, fine, go ahead. But at least have the balls to be honest about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Do not try to dress it up as part of a supposedly “serious conversation” about multiculturalism or security or what have you. Be honest, say, “I am going to insult these people and their culture because I want to draw attention to myself and mummy and daddy don’t react when I swear anymore. Oh, and I’m clearly a bit of a ****.” At least then we’ll all know where we stand.
More importantly, perhaps, and in spite of not being much of a burka kind of chap myself, I object even more to the comments about burkas because it amounts to bullying, and a very nasty kind of bullying at that. Let us be clear, the burka and other forms of traditional Islamic dress are not like a crucifix worn around the neck and frequently tucked in where no one can see it. They are not like that because a) a burka is not something you can wear under your ordinary clothes; and b) because it is not at all clear that the decision to wear a burka is the simple, frequently causal, often even meaninglessly self-decorative, decision that wearing a piece of jewellery is. Yes, I am well aware that many Muslim women choose to wear traditional Islamic dress in its various forms; and I would, under no circumstances, deny their right to do so. I merely note that social and cultural conditioning are subtle and powerful forces, and we are none of us entirely free from their influence; nor, for that matter, are we always aware of the hold such forces may have over us. And I do mean “we” here. In western cultures, boys are frequently conditioned to supress their emotions – except anger, of course – and to sexually objectify women; equally, I do not know how many women wearing high-heels have given much thought to the ways in which their footwear is specifically designed to emphasise their secondary sexual characteristics and so participate in that objectification; I’m sure it’s all of them.
The point is that none of us are entirely free to choose: not me, not you, and not Muslim women. Given this, it rather looks as though, in making jokes about women who wear the burka, we’re basically making fun of the very people over whom this particular form of misogyny is manifesting itself. That’s nice. And, I’m sure, a very valid thing to do in any serious conversation about multiculturalism, or nationalism, or whatever it is.
Actually, this is fine, if you also like jokes about, say, rape and sexual assault, the appalling conviction rates for rape and sexual assault, and other forms of institutionalised violence directed towards women. Or perhaps jokes about slaves, whether formerly here or in the US, or perhaps the ones who built places like Dubai. Yes, burkas are funny, but so are those crazy chains which African slaves used to wear: I mean, what were they thinking? They looked like – well, slaves. Cue hi-hat.
This may be why I was never able to secure a position as joke writer for the Chuckle Brothers (God rest Barry Chuckle, he will be missed). As it happens, I don’t generally find such things as sexual violence and slavery all that funny. But I suppose as long we’re making fun of them and their victims in the name of Allegedly Defending Liberal Values and Free Speech (a.k.a, being a self-aggrandising, publicity-seeking, bullying little **** hiding behind so-called liberal values in order push an agenda which is anything but liberal) it’s probably fine.
Although, if it is fine and we do want to laugh at those subject to oppression in its many and various forms, we might want to get better jokes. A burka does not make someone look like a letter box; it just doesn’t. To get the effect, you would have to stick one of those mad North Korea General hats on top and paint the poor woman red. I may not be an expert in comedy, but I’m quite sure that:
Hey, have you noticed how women who wear the burka look like letter boxes – if you make them wear a big North Korean General hat and paint them red? What’s up with that?
needs more time in the workshop.
                                                    Cue hi-hat



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